Bright Lights and Social Standing

Its not looks. Its personality. It
has nothing to do with your smile
or your laugh.
Its friend counts
in four vertical
and one diagonal,
off the charts.
My father cracked jokes
at one of the charmed sisters because of
a lopsided face. Fuck the mirrors.
Fuck the fuckers and fuck the lovers. I
want to be
alone. All alone. The jockey rides
the horse who
rides the bottle.
This is a perfect photo-op.
This is the blood pressure test with
an injection at the end.
I write to impress myself. I used to have a
companion who craved for an explanation. All I gave
was a defamation of character. You
were right all along. Who am
I is you. We find light. We find it to be glow
sticks shipped from
Bigglersville. We find fights.
We find them to be the cure to
withdrawal.
We all find nothing
where we thought something was
cleverly positioned.
Its midnight.
Its morning.
Its December.
Its over
and over and
over again.
Have you ever heard of R.E.M.
sleep?
I believe those to be
the dreams you cant remember.
I pray for tonight to be random.
I pray for the thoughts to access
the deepest alcoves of my memory.
I pray to forget.
I don't have anyone to pray to.